Fictitious FAQs

 

 

 

 

NEW FAQs, of course they're real...

Q: WHY is Oakland Sewn frequently compared to the evil tobacco industry?

A: Excellent question. Have you read or seen " The Insider"?  Well, you should. Russell Crowe's character has a great line exposing Big Tobacco's use of cigarettes as nothing more than a "nicotine delivery system" !!

Q: That makes no sense for your products ?? 

A: Right. I see your point.

Q: OK ? Still confused??

A:  So obvious. Oakland Sewn bags are a fabric delivery system. Use 'em for whatever you want. We don't care. Just get hooked on freakin' great fabrics.

Sorry.... and you're welcome. 

 

OLD FAQs, shamelessly created by owner:

 

Q: How can you have any FAQs if you just started this website?

A: Excellent question.

Q: Will you give me a discount if I order 200 bags?

A: Excellent question. Why would you order 200 bags?  Kind of creepy actually. I'm guessing things to hide? Yikes for you. Still, no discount for <1000 bag.  A girl's gotta buy more fabric.

Q: Are your bags made with all natural materials ?

A: Excellent question. Sadly, some are partial but they are all not. How unclear is that. All are not all, but some have some. Much better. 

Q: Can I customize a bag?

A: Excellent question. If you like something you see but would prefer a modification ( a different strap, a different lining you see on another bag, a different color/size pocket), please ask.  If I have the materials, I will do so. If I don't, you've at least had the confidence and strength of character to advocate for yourself, good on ya mate! Then again, maybe you're implying your taste is much better than mine, in which case your "self advocacy" is less tolerated.

Q: Will purchasing your bags make me a better person, improve my chance for a happy life, and help me appear more attractive and appealing to others?

A:  Excellent question.  Be honest, you've go nowhere to go but up, am I right?

Q:  Are children ever involved in the sale or manufacture of your products?

A:  NEVER! Unless of course they owe me money, in which case, well, it's a life lesson for them. 

 

Contact

oaklandsewn@gmail.com

© 2019 by Oakland Sewn

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